Love or… Love? – 1.7

Recap: Varnika and Haris spend a wonderful day together as Haris keeps throwing surprises at Varnika. In the evening, they indulge in a romantic moment which leaves Varnika completely confused about her future.


By the next morning, Varnika had psyched up what she wanted in her life – her true love or her first love.

“I know this is wrong… but I want this.” Varnika spoke to herself looking in the mirror. Her madness for Haris had superseded her fidelity and she had decided that till the time Haris is staying in London, she will be two-timing. And with that firm thought on her mind, she picked up her phone and dialed her colleague and informed her that she will be on leave today. Varnika headed out on her usual time for Haris’s Hotel.

On the way to his hotel, she rang Nakul “Hey Honey! I am so sorry to keep you waiting yesterday… It’s just that I was not feeling well.” Varnika apologized to Nakul.

“No problem honey! Okay listen, I have two tickets for a stand-up comedy show tonight and one of the artists is from India. So let’s go there.” Nakul said.

“Cool. I’ll try to reach home early.” Varnika said and they hung up the call.

Upon reaching Haris’s room, she rang his room’s bell thrice but he did not open the door. And just when she was about to leave for the reception, she heard his sleepy voice “coming”.

More nervous than pleased, Varnika placed a few flicks from behind the ears to the front and wiped the sweat drops on her upper lip with her index finger and eagerly waited outside his room for him to come and open the only barrier between them. She was fantasizing herself swaying in Haris’s arms and kissing him like mad just the way she had been imagining since last night. Though her heartbeat was way speedy and her conscience was screaming hard ‘Go back. Don’t do this’, she kept standing there… waiting for Haris to open the door and the squeaky sound of the door made her alert.

“Hey!” Varnika nervously smiled and said and stood still at her place.

“Hey!” Haris said pleasingly. His hair was messy, eyes were swollen and he was wearing only his boxers. ‘My God, he is so sexy’ Varnika’s heart skipped a beat upon seeing him like this.

“Come on in!” Haris said and let Varnika in. He rubbed his eyes and looked in his entire room for his shirt.

“It’s there.” Varnika pointed at his shirt lying near the balcony door.

Haris saw and chuckled “You know what I don’t want it as I have you here now.” He said and grabbed Varnika in his arms. Instead of the two-timing idea that she had decided, Varnika felt uneasy in his grip but he kept looking at her affectionately.

“Haris… um..!”

“Shush.. I know what’s on your mind….” Haris kept his index finger on her lips and said “I know you kept thinking about me the whole night.” He whispered and forwarded his lips towards Varnika’s and they had a small kiss. This kiss made her freeze in her place. His light odor connected her once again to her teenage memories. She remembered the days when Haris with his friends would come back to classroom after a tiring sports session and wiped the sweat on his forehead and she would take glimpses of him talking and laughing with his friends and there he interrupted her thoughts again:

“Tere honthon ko chhu kar nikli suni jo ghazal,

Main zara sa behek gaya tha, abhi gaya hoon sambhal.” Haris said another shayri (poetry) for her.

“Shab mei bhi aate hain ab to khwaab achhe bhale

Ik sukoon sa mil gaya hai dil ko aajkal.”

He completed it and they smiled at each other and when Haris realized that Varnika is all into his desires, he brought his face forward to kiss her passionately and they started kissing. He kept kissing her up and down in her face and neck and Varnika was having a pleasure like never before. It was not that she was making love for the first time, but there was lust on her mind today. Haris was already in minimal clothes and he started undressing Varnika by taking his hands to her coat and unbuttoned it. Varnika’s loyalty kept questioning her mind but her firmness about having this fling with Haris kept sidelining those questions. Haris unbuttoned her coat and her tube top was visible. He looked at her with a hunger and caressed his fingers from her shoulders till her arms and embraced her and they started with a kiss again. Varnika was absolutely ready for her secret dreams to unfold and therefore she kept her eyes closed and followed whatever Haris commanded her. He lifted Varnika and made her sit on the table top and just when he forwarded his hands to unbutton her jeans a voice echoed in Varnika’s ears “If I were in your place I would have never done this to you Nik” and she screamed “Nakul”  out of fear.

“What?” Haris, who was shocked by this absolutely unexpected scream, asked.

Varnika stared widely at her surroundings and realized that Nakul was not present there, but it was only her imagination. Still in a state of shock, her body automatically started drifting downwards and she held her head to understand what had just happened and what wrong was about to take place. She was gasping and Haris, who was standing clueless until now asked “Are you okay Varnika? Okay okay… let me get some water for you first.” And he scurried for the water bottles kept by the bedside.

Varnika drank a little water and small tears appeared in the corner of her eyes. She wiped them and looked at Haris who was standing like a statue in front of her with his hands on his waist right above his boxers. Varnika stood up and said “I am sorry Haris but I don’t think what I am doing is right. Better I go back to who I have been. I can’t cheat on Nakul. This is not right. My ethics will curse me if I sleep with you and I won’t be at peace ever if I do this.” She ran out of breath saying all this very quickly.

Haris came forward and held her face in his palms and asked looking in her eyes “What makes you say this is wrong babe?”

“I know you love your guy a lot. But do you realize why you are here?” Haris paused and Varnika, bewildered, looked at him for an answer. “Because you love this lifestyle, my way of living… you like this rush and zing that you have experienced for the first time in your life.” Haris said and went one step back “You are here because your guy can not give you all this. I mean of course he can give you infinite love but you… you want to have this…. with me.” and he opened his arms wide for her.

Varnika looked at him and tried to figure out whether his words were reasonable or not. Few more tears rolled down her cheeks and she took a deep breath before saying “You know you’re right Haris. I love the way you live and as a matter of fact, it fascinates me and pulls me towards you…… but No! No, I can’t do this… it’s wrong!” She paused and wept.

“I want to tell you something before I leave…” Varnika said in a heavy voice and wiped a thick set of nonstop tears.

“Wait… you can’t leave.. We’ll work out on this… We just need to talk.” Haris held her hand and tried to convince her.

“You are my childhood love.” She told him eye to eye.

“Wh…. what?” Haris gawked at Varnika and left her hand.

“I don’t get you Varnika…” Haris said and moved two steps back from Varnika. He pointed his index finger at her and said “Here, you are telling me that you are leaving because you can’t cheat on your fiancé and then you are saying that you liked me in our school days. Damn, you girls are so confused.” He finished his sentence and put his hands on his waist above his boxers.

“Hear me out… Please!” Varnika sobbingly said.

“Okay… go ahead.” Haris told her.

“I have loved you ever since the examination day when you had offered me a pencil.” Haris went clueless on Varnika’s sentence as he did not recall when this had happened.

“We were in class 5 Haris. From class 5th till class 12th we read in the same school but there was a huge contrast in our feelings towards each other. While my eyes would always look for you, you never ever looked at me. I craved for your attention every day despite knowing that this will never happen.” Varnika kept going on with many reminiscences where she remembered Haris doing something which Haris was over and done with, but with each of those memories that she had revealed, something changed in Haris’s heart. He kept looking at her and listened to her very carefully. At the back of his mind, he kept thinking how smoothly girls conceal their feelings. While all this time in London, Varnika had never given him any impression of this side of her personality but her tears vouched that whatever she is uttering from her mouth is coming straight from her heart.

“And then… my sister and I saw you outside this pub at SOHO. When we were taking you to your hotel, my feelings were changing exactly the way a coin flips. I was not able to decide whether I should move a step towards you or just let you go as if there was nothing in my heart for you. And ultimately, my passion for you gave into my loyalty for Nakul… But this is it… I can’t cheat on him anymore. I always wanted your attention, yes I definitely did at some point because I was crazy about you for a long long time in my life but Nakul…. I love him truly…and our love for each other is based on commitment and trust, not just a physical attraction. I see my future with him which I had never imagined with you…. So it is better that I stay being myself rather than become someone that I perceived to be. I know I had a thrill being with you… you showed me an altogether different way of lifestyle… but I think I’ll keep it till there only. Two timing was on my mind until our last kiss because I presumed it to be a piece of cake but certainly, I am not that kind of person. I can’t do this to my precious relationship with Nakul and don’t want to be in this lifestyle forever because you and I are two completely different humans Haris.”

Varnika finished speaking out her heart and wiped her tears once again and then stepped forward to pick up her coat. She wore it and picked her handbag to leave while Haris kept his hand folded in each other and silently observing her movements.

Just when she was about to leave after saying “bye” to him he grabbed her hand from behind and said “I can’t let you leave like this.” He sensually whispered and pulled away her flicks on her cheeks to look at her whole face. Varnika blinked her eyes timidly.

“I have got something to say too… care to listen?” He asked her looking in her eyes.

“You know what…. You are a nice girl… and nice girls must marry gentlemen. Mera kya hai… main to Awaara hoon na (I am a spoilt brat… who cares about me?)” he sarcastically said and exhaled a deep breath. Varnika imagined a filmy drama that Haris will do to persuade her but remained quiet to avoid a silly argument with him.

“But you know what… you are a record holder in my life.” Haris chuckled and Varnika looked at him to understand his meaning.

“Varnika, You are the only one who has taken so much time to be here.” Haris joked hinting about their intimate moment. “I can’t recall with how many girls I have been till now… seriously I don’t have a count of it and I hardly remember each of their faces but you… you are the only person who said that ‘you love me’ and I noticed true affection in your eyes… I am rich, I am cool, I am spoilt and that’s why I don’t have to run behind girls but they easily come to me… but this is the first time that meri class ki topper ne mujhe I Love You bola (the topper of my class said that she loves me)… No no no, lemme reframe this sentence.” Haris chuckled and said “a sincere, intelligent, honest, cultured Indian girl who is based out of London has told me that she has loved me deeply in her past but now that she has moved on with a guy who shares the same values like hers and loves her endlessly, she doesn’t want to be with me.” Haris laughed and clapped his hands. Varnika stood still in her place trying to find an answer in her mind. There was a silence in the room. Varnika wanted to open the door and rush out without looking at Haris or hearing anything more from him but she remained there right in her place.

“Varnika, you are a wonderful person.” Haris came forward and pecked on her forehead.

“And though the wicked side of Haris still wants to sway you in the bed, there is some goodness still left here.” Haris touched on his heart and this moved Varnika and she got teary eyes again.

“Right now, I am thinking about changing myself… but Haris can’t stay alive for long if he changes.” He said and winked at her.

“You know… maybe one day you’ll find your soul mate and you’ll change.” Varnika said.

“Ahh Lady! There’s too much of Bollywood in your head.” Haris laughed and said “Fairy tales… huh… Life isn’t like that. All of us don’t end up having a life partner because some of us enjoy variety.”

“You never know. Life keeps surprising us.” Varnika said looking in his eyes. She was hinting to the night when she had seen Haris after so many years in London.

“Okay madam! I’ll keep that in mind and better off you go now because I don’t talk serious shit with girls for so long and you know that.” Varnika laughed on his statement and quickly wore her coat. She opened the door and looked at him said “Bye Haris.” Haris simply smiled and waved a hand at her.

“Hey Veronica” Haris had called Varnika from behind when she was still in the aisle and she wondered what did Haris have on his mind now. Haris walked towards her and said “I don’t have anything to gift you on your farewell but… keep this as a souvenir.” He placed a small paper slip in her palm and winked at her and jogged back to his room.

Varnika unfolded the paper piece and read Thank me on +44726****414  when you’re sober 😉 Veronica.” Varnika laughed on this unique gift by Haris and thought ‘the day it all started’ and started walking when again Haris’s voice interrupted her footsteps. “Hey you!” she looked back and with a stern expression on his face he said “don’t ever cross paths with me now. Because I can be very harmful and you definitely don’t wanna face that.” He sarcastically said and winked; blew a kiss to Varnika and took his hand towards his forehead in a “salaam” and went back to his room.

It was just noon and Varnika decided to head back home from Haris’s hotel. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths after sitting in a cab. She was much peaceful and happy now. She recalled last night when all she was thinking was about Haris and herself and had ignored Nakul’s calls and texts.

“I’ll make it up for him tonight.” She thought and took out her phone.

to be continued…

4 thoughts on “Love or… Love? – 1.7

Add yours

    1. As u must have noticed Riju, 1.6 and 1.7 have been only based on the twists and swirls in Haris and Varnika’s relationship. .. so the stranger guy will definitely come back but you have to wait little more for him (as he is not the central character) 😉


  1. Beautiful narration Richa.
    It feels like reading and reading; doesn’t want it to end but again every good thing ends
    Waiting for more such beautiful stories!

    Liked by 1 person

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